Irritated

Irritated

I dun really like it when people around me doubt my judgement. It's like, hello, I have probably read more and know more than you do on that particular subject and who do you think you are to tell me on what I should do with my own money. It's not as if I ASKED you how to manage my money in the first place. Likewise there's no need for you to tell me anyway. Bleah.

The definition for 'fear of losing' has changed for me, I realised. In the past way back to my childhood days it meant the fear of failure to achieve what I desired, top scorer in class for instance. The significance of this term changed when I was a teenager, when I interpreted it as the fear of losing something intangible like relationships and memories for example.

Something like losing my friendships just because I am not physically there with my loved ones in universities or my buddies in different army camps. I felt mere mobile communication wasn't enough; or worse still, if there's no mobile contact at all. Maybe having friends isn't such a good idea after all, because I will lose them anyway. The statement "We meet to part" is often very true.

I am still trying to register the idea of a higher being who created us, who loves us for simply being who we are and one who sacrificed for us. It sounds too good to be true. I am wary of believing again, especially when things went horribly wrong, way beyond my comprehension.

The brightest light casts the darkest shadow...